The definition of swinger is "a person who engages in group sex or swapping of sexual partners." And for polyamorous it is" the practice of, desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with informed consent of all partners involved."
I started my endeavors as a swinger after an old flame brought it to my attention because they were curious about it. I had played before and enjoyed a couple of threesomes so moving into the swinger real was an easy transition. Once I started attending the clubs and parties, I got lost in the lust of it all. I love sex, I mean who doesn't? The act of watching my partner with another was a turn on for me. I could see my partner from an angle I hadn't been able to see before unless they were with some one else. This would turn me on so much that we would barely make it home, sometimes not, before I was all over my partner wanting them, needing them.
As time moved on I found myself single in the lifestyle. Might I add no fault of the lifestyle. I embraced being single in the lifestyle with just as much enthusiasm as as when I was in a relationship. It was a lot of fun being single in the lifestyle for awhile. I had friends in the lifestyle I hung out with so I never had to hide what I did. Having friends in the lifestyle is so freeing. You can openly talk about sex and sexual situations unlike with friends outside and never feel ashamed because it is just easy to be who you are. Then I met a couple that I started spending time with and that would change everything.
When we met and played together it was great and there were no expectations for anything more. However, we all started spending more and more time together. We did dinner before going to the clubs. We had backyard barbecues and spent lazy Sunday’s watching movies. Before you know it I had real love for each of them. I missed them when they weren’t around and they me. Unknowingly, we entered into a polyamorous relationship. Now polyamory was new to me and it wasn’t until much later that I realized what we were. If you go back and look at the definition of polyamorous it says “the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner” and at first glance you may take intimate relationships as sexual. While I filled a sexual gap they had in their relationship it was much more. We had a family unit that did practically everything together. We introduced each other to our families and shared holidays, birthdays and life events together. The true intimacy came from supporting one another in our endeavors, holding each other when we cried, talking through feelings and yes talking smack as well.
I transitioned easily into each of these places in my life and have no regrets of how I have lived. I believe the root of all of us is to live as a community. Whether that is in the swinger community, the polygamous community or a definition all your own.
If you are interested in either of these lifestyles or lovestyles, believe that they do take work. Trust and communication is the base for each. Without those two things you open yourself up for jealousy and hurt. Before entering into either of these I suggest sitting down and looking at what it is that you or you and your partner really want. Does your interest lay in the idea of going to a club of like minded individuals and couples, seeing a sexy individual or couple and fulfilling a short term fantasy? Or are you wanting the intimate bond of sharing your life with another individual or couple? Both have their rewards in themselves.
Interested in love in one of these lifestyles? After you have sat down with yourself or with your partner and have recognized what it is that you truly desire, I suggest heading over to https://swingloves.com and starting your search for love there. Swing Loves is a site specifically geared towards lifestyle and lovestyle individuals and couples finding love and not a hook up.
